The Perks of Having Shades of Gray

Please notice is gray with an “A”. This has nothing to do with that porn book; not that I’ve read it. Thanks to Anne Rice’s (I keep forgetting her pseudonym) Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, I learned erotic literature is not my thing. I find Hopscotch (Rayuela, Julio Cortázar) Chapter 7 way sexier, but that’s not the point.

For the past two years I’ve been having a hard time. First, I broke up with my boyfriend, and it’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m not over him yet. (My life needs romance </3). I had to left school because of economic problems, and if you know me, then you know for me leaving Tec is a bigger deal than for most people. Tec was not my second home, it was my first. I was a good student, really liked my classmates and teachers, I was president and founder of SAC (Sociedad de Alumnos de Comunicación), I was part of the Theater Club, I started writing just for fun…. Everything I was passionate for was there.

In the last year I have had two jobs. The first pay well and had a great schedule, but it was boring, unchallenging, and I hated my boss, and just tolerate my co-workers; so I quitted.  The second job pay worse than the first, was harder to get, challenging, and I worked in the afternoons and on weekends. Still, I liked it. I consider my former boss a real good friend, ad some of my ex co-workers too. So sad I’ve got fired, and not because of lack of skills.

For getting to my jobs, I had to learn to use public transport. A year and a half ago, I was used to have my mom, my boyfriend or my friends giving me rides everywhere. Now I can take the bus or the subway (I lived in Mexico City during the first job) without fear of getting lost or being robbed or raped or something like that. (Of course I’m cautious). Once I even got from Pedregal to Palmas (Mexico City) in just 90 minutes. (I rock!)

Some days seem black and I hate my life. I cry a lot and curse the universe for being so unfair. I also get mad at myself for being such a drama queen and being so self-centered when there are millions of people around the world with worse problems than mine like not having food, housing, health, clothing, or even the guts to be who they really are for fear of being bullied or discriminated. Even Lea Michele lost her fiancé and co-star. I think that’s worse.

Other days are brighter and I can see the things I have learned, improved and accomplished. I’ve got to spend more time with my dad. That’s the best part ‘cause we’ve missed each other a lot.  I got more friends and new interests (like fighting for gender equality and respect for sexual diversity). I created this blog. (Maybe it’s not too much, but hey! You’re reading it). I’m also a better pet owner now.  Honey, my 11 year old (human years) golden retriever is now my roomy and we take walks, we talk (well, I talk), and love each other despite the fact that I’m bossy and grumpy, and she farts. (She’s an old lady, she can be excused.)

The truth is nothing is black or white. Everyday has a different shade and tone and that makes life a rainbow. If everything were shiny and perfect, we wouldn’t value it and be thankful. If everything were dark and awful, well, we would have killed ourselves long time ago. So, if everything is peachy (Will from Waiting for Forever is right, funny word.) and great; enjoy it, be thankful and work hard to keep it that way. If things seem to be all against you, remember it could always be worse and at least you’ll get wiser and stronger after overcoming it. YOLO, so make the best of it and learn to enjoy your tears as well as your laughter.

P.S. Thanks for reading. I wrote this entry in English just because I can, and for the title joke. :P